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    5/22/2006

    开心不开心,生活要怎样

        今晚总是想要流泪,看看以前的照片,看看曾经感性的文字,曾经是那样的被打动过,曾经单纯,也曾经快乐,曾经挣扎,也曾经绝望。不变的是我淡淡的忧伤的表情。
          今天检查身体,我看了看血压,很正常。高血压是家族遗传,外婆在妈妈13岁的时候就去世了,现在妈妈血压到160,收到她病了的消息,我憋了很久的眼泪自然而然就流了下来 ,妈妈是家里最大的财富。
           自从发现妈妈心里和身体的脆弱,我的性格就膨胀起来,仿佛曾经妈妈的一切都附在了我的身上,妈妈的坚强,易怒,和有时的感性和脆弱,都通过童年的记忆复制在年轻的我身上。
          忧郁是我的一部分,是快乐不能掩盖的那一部分,是青春期的际遇给我的烙印,我不曾强求我自己。
          我想我有权利选择自己的生活,也许不是每一天都快乐,可是我也活着,存在着,并且认真的过每一天。

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